The shark, The fish and The donkey

So today I decided to have a lil fun and play a $5 sng. I do well in these and they are usually easy br boosters. I had a ton o fun, like with a barrel o monkeys. It's a bit long, but I have cut all non-pertinent info out. I guarantee you will enjoy, or at least I hope you find it half as funny as I do !

By the way, another funny story...

You know you have poker issues when the program you use for work is called SNG SmartApp Next Generation and you're on the phone with a co-worker talking about your "Sit n Go training" and then you say "OMG did I just say Sit n go??"

to slipry: hi & gl
DistantHaze: u2
to slipry: 33 he says this when 3 limpers in pot including the bb, and flop comes KKT and he min bets, bb calls and then he checks the turn for the bb to bet and take the pot down.
Dealer: Firedawg 1000 wins the pot (600) with two pair, Eights and Sixes
DistantHaze: lol he thinks a lot of things are funny evidently
Dealer: Firedawg 1000 shows [Jc Jh] (a full house, Jacks full of Eights)
DistantHaze: nh
Firedawg 1000: tx
Shinebox666: vn
to slipry: this must be turbo
Now this was a fun hand, it shows a point I was trying to make in a forum thread about how sometimes re raising doesnt do the trick of narrowing hands
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to khanwoman [Ks Kd]
Mattro calls 30
pj804 calls 30
to slipry folds
Firedawg 1000 raises to 90
Shinebox666 folds
DistantHaze folds
khanwoman raises to 345
Mattro folds
pj804 calls 315
Firedawg 1000 calls 255
*** FLOP *** [Kh 9h Ad]
khanwoman bets 1,155, and is all in
pj804 calls 840, and is all in
Firedawg 1000 has 15 seconds left to act
to slipry: this must be turbo
Firedawg 1000: A 8
Firedawg 1000 calls 1,155
khanwoman shows [Ks Kd]
pj804 shows [7d Ac]
Firedawg 1000 shows [Ah 8s]
*** TURN *** [Kh 9h Ad] [4s]
*** RIVER *** [Kh 9h Ad 4s] [7h]
khanwoman shows three of a kind, Kings
Firedawg 1000 shows a pair of Aces
pj804 shows two pair, Aces and Sevens
khanwoman wins the main pot (3,600) with three of a kind, Kings
DistantHaze: lol
pj804 stands up
Tournament Director: The blinds are now 20/40
Firedawg 1000: gh
DistantHaze: I can't believe you thought ace-eight
was good there
Firedawg 1000: I had high pr
Firedawg 1000: and the chips
khanwoman: ya tough one ya no tappo el glasso
Firedawg 1000: I didn't like it.. but not a bad
gamble... only bad result
Shinebox666: no, it was a bad gamble
DistantHaze: it was an easy fold with 2 all-ins in
front of you
to slipry: oboy poker 101 for $6
Shinebox666: poker101 for any $ amount
to slipry: lol
DistantHaze: heh
khanwoman: only thing worse than poker lessons
are glass tappers
DistantHaze: are what? zactly
to slipry: lesson #1 never critisize an opp. just
take advantage
Mattro: nh
DistantHaze: glad i dumped that4 this continues thru turney, one of my pet peeves
to slipry: lesson #2 allins work all but once
khanwoman: profound
DistantHaze: lol
to slipry: hehehe
DistantHaze: lesson #3: the mute button is nice
DistantHaze: lol
to slipry: good one oh look they are getting along !!!
to slipry: my cards suck but its still worth it
DistantHaze: ive had those days: 573 hands of nothing but ten-high
Dealer: DistantHaze shows a pair of Tens
Dealer: khanwoman shows two pair, Tens and Sevens
Dealer: khanwoman wins the pot (120) with two
pair, Tens and Sevens
DistantHaze: nh ya it is nice when i check my bb and check to the river and win, aint it?? another one of my pet peeeeves
to slipry: live game last nite beat hand 99 after 2.5 hrs allin & allout
to slipry: best
besides my bb I havent played a hand since my big win w KK, except for two pf raises that were not called, not that anyone noticed... IM HAVING FISH TONIGHT! (Finding Nemo quote for those of you w out chillins)
Firedawg has 625 behind him here and i have over 4k
Dealt to khanwoman [Ah Qh]
knox1111 folds
Mattro folds
to slipry folds
Firedawg 1000 raises to 180
Shinebox666 folds
DistantHaze folds
khanwoman raises to 700
Flying_Snow folds
Firedawg 1000 calls 445, and is all in
khanwoman shows [Ah Qh]
Firedawg 1000 shows [Ad 4s]
DistantHaze: ouch
DistantHaze: GONE
Firedawg 1000: by lots of goos speelers at me tabel
DistantHaze: nh again khan
khanwoman: ty
DistantHaze: 6 high any good?
to slipry: no pot odds they're um geniuses
DistantHaze: ya too much 560:410
DistantHaze: nh
ORE EEEEN!
Dealer: Flying_Snow shows [4h 4d]
Dealer: to slipry shows [Jc 8c]
Dealer: to slipry wins the pot (930) with two pair, Eights and Threes
to slipry: had to
DistantHaze: nice catch
to slipry: lol
DistantHaze: 7h 4c he likes to do this too when he cant call a raise
to slipry: there is a lesson
DistantHaze: 9s 2d see
Dealer: Mattro wins the pot (900) with a full house, Queens full of Nines
to slipry: vnh
Mattro: ty
Mattro: did you have q too
DistantHaze: he had a4 or in laymans terms, no part of it
Mattro: see that
Dealer: Shinebox666 shows [2h 2d]
Dealer: DistantHaze shows [7c 6h]
DistantHaze: naturally
Dealer: Shinebox666 shows three of a kind, Twos
Dealer: DistantHaze shows a pair of Sixes
Dealer: Shinebox666 wins the pot (1,380) with three of a kind, Twos
Shinebox666: Q
DistantHaze: u have 2 hearts, Mattro?
Dealer: to slipry shows [8h Ah]
Dealer: khanwoman shows [4c Ac]
DistantHaze: 32
Mattro: no
Mattro: aj
Shinebox666: wow
Dealer: to slipry shows Ace King high
Dealer: khanwoman shows a straight, Five high
Dealer: khanwoman wins the pot (560) with a
straight, Five high
that was my suckout for the day
to slipry: gg
DistantHaze: so long noob you mean youre leaving so sooooon?!
DistantHaze: nice! ya thats what i thought too
DistantHaze: heh i know im so funny
DistantHaze: u knew that was coming his comment when i tried to limp in twice in a row and ss pushed in
DistantHaze: im not folding a 4 anymore today LOL woooooot go get em tiger
Dealer: knox1111 shows [Qc As]
Dealer: Flying_Snow shows [Kd Ad]
DistantHaze: Q
DistantHaze: Q
Dealer: Flying_Snow wins the pot (3,440) with Ace
King high
DistantHaze: i was cheering for ya, knox we didnt notice
Dealer: DistantHaze shows [4d 8s] (Eight Four high)
Dealer: DistantHaze wins the pot (160)
DistantHaze: hehe i know.. so funny
Dealer: khanwoman shows [Qs Qh]
Dealer: Mattro shows [Jc As]
Dealer: khanwoman shows a pair of Queens
Dealer: Mattro shows Ace King high
Dealer: khanwoman wins the pot (3,780) with a
pair of Queens
Mattro (Observer): gg
DistantHaze: folded a king lol coz you did
khanwoman: gg
Dealer: DistantHaze shows [Tc 8d] (Ten Eight high)
Dealer: DistantHaze wins the pot (200)
DistantHaze: im amazed to make the money with so many !#!% hands this game
khanwoman: i am as well
DistantHaze: lol you've had many good hands no i just play the good ones, interesting concept I know
khanwoman: no i mean about you
DistantHaze: oh i see
DistantHaze: heh
khanwoman: :) didnt wanna tap too hard
DistantHaze: one time someone will have a hand and call on you
khanwoman: i hope so and i hope its you
DistantHaze: i do too kewl
DistantHaze: nh
Dealer: khanwoman wins the pot (1,500) i had JJ aka overpair
DistantHaze: medium pair?
khanwoman: no 23o
DistantHaze: 7h 4d aww he had to fold again
DistantHaze: sure it was
DistantHaze: 4s 2d and again
Dealer: DistantHaze shows [5h 3d] (Five Three
high)
Dealer: DistantHaze wins the pot (240)
Dealer: DistantHaze shows a pair of Nines
Dealer: DistantHaze wins the pot (480) with a pair
of Nines
DistantHaze: 6h 4c ok now im feeling sorry for him (you believe me?)
Dealt to khanwoman [Ad 7s]
khanwoman raises to 720
Flying_Snow raises to 4,480, and is all in
DistantHaze: ooooooooooooo
DistantHaze: take him out, khan
DistantHaze folds love the commentary folder
khanwoman folds

and this is my favorite part...
khanwoman: i woulda taken you out w that hand, but not snow
DistantHaze: and why is that?
Dealer: DistantHaze shows [Th 6c] (Ten Six high)
Dealer: DistantHaze wins the pot (240)
khanwoman: cause ida had you beat
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to khanwoman [Kc Qd]
Flying_Snow folds
DistantHaze: i play much more solid than he does -- so your arguemnt makes no sense neither does your typing
DistantHaze calls 120
khanwoman checks
*** FLOP *** [Qs 4d 4h]
DistantHaze checks
khanwoman bets 480
DistantHaze calls 480
*** TURN *** [Qs 4d 4h] [Td]
DistantHaze checks
khanwoman bets 1,780
DistantHaze calls 1,780, and is all in
khanwoman shows [Kc Qd]
DistantHaze shows [Ts Qh]
*** RIVER *** [Qs 4d 4h Td] [Kd]
khanwoman shows two pair, Kings and Queens
DistantHaze shows two pair, Queens and Tens
khanwoman wins the pot (5,000) with two pair, Kings and Queens
DistantHaze: wtf ever
DistantHaze stands up
DistantHaze (Observer): its hard to believe that the best player with the best hand lost to a miracle river on THIS phucking site, isn't it? true dat

I went on to win the turney in about 10 hands of HU play. One key hand I won I had actually made a mistake and misread the board, but won w A high. Then my opponet kept pushing in on me, so I did this....

Seat 5: khanwoman (8,060)
Seat 6: Flying_Snow (5,440)
khanwoman posts the small blind of 150
Flying_Snow posts the big blind of 300
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to khanwoman [Ah Kh]
khanwoman calls 150
Flying_Snow raises to 600
khanwoman raises to 1,800
Flying_Snow raises to 5,440, and is all in
khanwoman calls 3,640
Flying_Snow shows [Jd Jh]
khanwoman shows [Ah Kh]
*** FLOP *** [4h 4c 2d]
*** TURN *** [4h 4c 2d] [Ks]
*** RIVER *** [4h 4c 2d Ks] [Ts]
Flying_Snow shows two pair, Jacks and Fours
khanwoman shows two pair, Kings and Fours
khanwoman wins the pot (10,880) with two pair, Kings and Fours
Flying_Snow stands up
khanwoman stands up

Stud 8

Ok, I've decided that I don't much care for split pot games. Dunno why, just do.

This had blew my entire profits at this table. Sigh.

FTP's latest upgrade isn't working right. If you use the auto-center feature the HH doesn't show the dealt cards correctly. So I'll just give you the final results. I had a MADE Q high flush on 5th street and started capping the betting at that point.

*** 6TH STREET ***
Dealt to BigMomma12 [4s Jd 2c] [2h] <--started with buried JJ, so this 2 made her full, sigh
Dealt to gadzooks64 [8c 3c Jc 4c Qc] [Ts]
Dealt to Eriver [6d 8h 6c] [2d]
Eriver bets $0.50
BigMomma12 calls $0.50
gadzooks64 raises to $1
Eriver raises to $1.50
BigMomma12 raises to $2
gadzooks64 calls $1
Eriver calls $0.50
*** 7TH STREET ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [8c 3c Jc 4c Qc Ts] [5s]
Eriver bets $0.50
BigMomma12 raises to $1
gadzooks64 calls $1
Eriver calls $0.50
*** SHOW DOWN ***
BigMomma12 shows [Js Jh 4s Jd 2c 2h 3s] (a full house, Jacks full of Twos)
gadzooks64 mucks
Eriver shows [Ac 8d 6d 8h 6c 2d 4d] (two pair, Eights and Sixes)
(8,6,4,2,A)
BigMomma12 wins the high pot ($7.50) with a full house, Jacks full of Twos
Eriver wins the low pot ($7.50) with 8,6,4,2,A
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $15.50 | Rake $0.50
Seat 1: jabrax folded on 5th St.
Seat 2: PostModernBoy folded on 3rd St.
Seat 3: Eriver showed [Ac 8d 6d 8h 6c 2d 4d] and won ($7.50) with HI: two pair, Eights and Sixes; LO: 8,6,4,2,A
Seat 4: 213 folded on 3rd St.
Seat 5: Steak-Sandwich folded on 4th St.
Seat 6: AmSlim22 folded on 5th St.
Seat 7: BigMomma12 showed [Js Jh 4s Jd 2c 2h 3s] and won ($7.50) with HI: a full house, Jacks full of Twos
Seat 8: gadzooks64 mucked [8c 5s Jc 4c Qc Ts 3c] - HI: a flush, Queen high

WTF?

Full Tilt Poker Game #1354580621: Table Soft Breezes - $0.50/$1 - Limit Hold'em - 21:50:41 ET - 2006/12/04
Seat 1: Coffy5 ($10.15)
Seat 3: bsd72 ($19.90)
Seat 4: CROSSandCROWN ($10), is sitting out
Seat 5: CardDivine ($32.85)
Seat 6: countagain ($9.35)
Seat 8: gadzooks64 ($25)
Seat 9: buck712 ($28.45)
Coffy5 posts the small blind of $0.25
bsd72 posts the big blind of $0.50
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [Qh Qs]
CardDivine calls $0.50
countagain calls $0.50
gadzooks64 raises to $1
Coffy5 folds
bsd72 folds
CardDivine calls $0.50
countagain calls $0.50
*** FLOP *** [8d 3c Th]
CardDivine checks
countagain bets $0.50
gadzooks64 raises to $1
CardDivine folds
countagain raises to $1.50
gadzooks64 calls $0.50
*** TURN *** [8d 3c Th] [7c]
countagain bets $1
gadzooks64 calls $1
*** RIVER *** [8d 3c Th 7c] [9s]
countagain bets $1
gadzooks64 calls $1
*** SHOW DOWN ***
countagain shows [6d 8h] (a straight, Ten high)
gadzooks64 mucks
countagain wins the pot ($10.25) with a straight, Ten high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $10.75 | Rake $0.50
Board: [8d 3c Th 7c 9s]
Seat 1: Coffy5 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: bsd72 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: CROSSandCROWN is sitting out
Seat 5: CardDivine folded on the Flop
Seat 6: countagain showed [6d 8h] and won ($10.25) with a straight, Ten high
Seat 8: gadzooks64 (button) mucked [Qh Qs] - a pair of Queens
Seat 9: buck712 is sitting out

DeJaVu

Full Tilt Poker Game #1359841912: Table Maggie - $0.25/$0.50 - Limit Hold'em - 21:20:34 ET - 2006/12/05
Seat 1: khanwoman ($14.80)
Seat 2: ohioflash ($13.45)
Seat 3: silvertree ($14.50)
Seat 4: Chip Collector5 ($10.05)
Seat 5: jwine8 ($13.20)
Seat 6: Zerbet ($4.65)
Seat 7: gadzooks64 ($8.30)
Seat 8: ZMAN3000 ($4)
Seat 9: ErikaGrolsch ($30.45)
gadzooks64 posts the small blind of $0.10
ZMAN3000 posts the big blind of $0.25
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [Js Jc]
ErikaGrolsch calls $0.25
khanwoman folds
ohioflash folds
silvertree folds
Chip Collector5 folds
jwine8 calls $0.25
Zerbet folds
gadzooks64 raises to $0.50
ZMAN3000 has 15 seconds left to act
ZMAN3000 calls $0.25
ErikaGrolsch calls $0.25
jwine8 calls $0.25
*** FLOP *** [3h 7d 8s]
gadzooks64 bets $0.25
ZMAN3000 raises to $0.50
ErikaGrolsch calls $0.50
jwine8 folds
gadzooks64 calls $0.25
*** TURN *** [3h 7d 8s] [5s]
gadzooks64 checks
ZMAN3000 bets $0.50
ErikaGrolsch calls $0.50
gadzooks64 calls $0.50
*** RIVER *** [3h 7d 8s 5s] [9h]
gadzooks64 checks
ZMAN3000 has 15 seconds left to act
ZMAN3000 bets $0.50
ErikaGrolsch calls $0.50
gadzooks64 calls $0.50
*** SHOW DOWN ***
ZMAN3000 shows [6c 8d] (a straight, Nine high)
ErikaGrolsch mucks
gadzooks64 mucks
ZMAN3000 wins the pot ($6.20) with a straight, Nine high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $6.50 | Rake $0.30
Board: [3h 7d 8s 5s 9h]
Seat 1: khanwoman didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: ohioflash didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: silvertree didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Chip Collector5 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: jwine8 folded on the Flop
Seat 6: Zerbet (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: gadzooks64 (small blind) mucked [Js Jc] - a pair of Jacks
Seat 8: ZMAN3000 (big blind) showed [6c 8d] and won ($6.20) with a straight, Nine high
Seat 9: ErikaGrolsch mucked [Qs Qh] - a pair of Queens

More donktastic play

Full Tilt Poker Game #1320035410: Table Patriotic (speed) - $0.50/$1 - Limit Hold'em - 17:53:31 ET - 2006/11/28
Seat 1: BETTAFISH ($21.35)
Seat 2: reelxite ($10)
Seat 3: spiwolf ($38)
Seat 4: khanwoman ($22)
Seat 5: race49 ($15.25)
Seat 6: Strukes ($25.90)
Seat 7: Malcontent ($10.90)
Seat 8: gadzooks64 ($16.50)
Seat 9: RIV RAT MAN ($26)
khanwoman posts the small blind of $0.25
race49 posts the big blind of $0.50
reelxite posts $0.50
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [Tc Kc]
Strukes folds
Malcontent folds
gadzooks64 calls $0.50
RIV RAT MAN folds
BETTAFISH folds
Strukes stands up
reelxite raises to $1
spiwolf folds
khanwoman folds
race49 folds
gadzooks64 calls $0.50
*** FLOP *** [7c Ac Ad]
gadzooks64 checks
reelxite bets $0.50
gadzooks64 calls $0.50
*** TURN *** [7c Ac Ad] [9c]
gadzooks64 checks
reelxite bets $1
gadzooks64 raises to $2
reelxite calls $1
*** RIVER *** [7c Ac Ad 9c] [Ah]
gadzooks64 has 7 seconds left to act
gadzooks64 checks
reelxite checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
gadzooks64 shows [Tc Kc] (a flush, Ace high)
reelxite shows [9d Qd] (a full house, Aces full of Nines)
reelxite wins the pot ($7.40) with a full house, Aces full of Nines
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $7.75 | Rake $0.35
Board: [7c Ac Ad 9c Ah]
Seat 1: BETTAFISH didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: reelxite showed [9d Qd] and won ($7.40) with a full house, Aces full of Nines
Seat 3: spiwolf (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: khanwoman (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: race49 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: Strukes didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: Malcontent didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: gadzooks64 showed [Tc Kc] and lost with a flush, Ace high
Seat 9: RIV RAT MAN didn't bet (folded)

SNG Hell

I played a sng at Poker Host, just for giggles.

HAHAHAHHA, those insane kind of giggles not the OMG I'm having so much fun giggles.

I haven't moneyed in a sng on PH yet.

However the ring games are very soft.

This is how I went out in the last sng.

I had played maybe 2-3 hands up to this point.

Hand Start.
Seat 1 : Villager has $2,710
Seat 2 : coldpaw has $4,840
Seat 4 : phillip666 has $2,590
Seat 5 : gadzooks64 has $1,650
Seat 6 : flashgit has $4,060
Seat 7 : BigDaddyIce has $280
Seat 9 : Ron566 has $1,870
BigDaddyIce is the dealer.
Ron566 posted small blind.
Villager posted big blind.
Game [24] started with 7 players.
Dealing Hole Cards.
Seat 5 : gadzooks64 has Kc Tc
Stakes: 100/200 Current level: 4 Next level in: 8 min.
coldpaw folded.
phillip666 folded.
gadzooks64 called 200 and raised 1,450 and is All-in
flashgit folded.
BigDaddyIce folded.
Ron566 called 1,550
Stakes: 100/200 Current level: 4 Next level in: 8 min.
Villager folded.
Showdown!
Seat 5 : gadzooks64 has Kc Tc
Seat 9 : Ron566 has Ks 9s
Board cards [Kh 8c 9h 6s 4d]
Seat 5 : gadzooks64 has Kc Tc
gadzooks64 has Pair: Kings
Seat 9 : Ron566 has Ks 9s
Ron566 has Two Pair: Kings and 9s
Ron566 wins 3,500 with Two Pair: Kings and 9s
Stakes: 100/200 Current level: 4 Next level in: 7 min.
Hand is over.

Winner Winner

Luck>>Skill!

Click for a larger view

Adventures in Limit Poker

For Your Eyes Only 10474731-106911 Holdem Limit $0.50/$1
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Hand Start.
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 1 : Mr Botanski has $14.50
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 2 : jfq has $9.50
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 3 : rjp0901 has $1
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 4 : My"A"game has $100.02
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 5 : karbu has $6.75
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 6 : gadzooks64 has $25.50
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 7 : PickerJohn has $20
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 8 : oninit has $31
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : Seat 9 : littlejan has $12.50
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : karbu is the dealer.
[Nov 17 10:53:20] : gadzooks64 posted small blind.
[Nov 17 10:53:21] : PickerJohn posted big blind.
[Nov 17 10:53:21] : Game [106911] started with 8 players.
[Nov 17 10:53:21] : Dealing Hole Cards.
[Nov 17 10:53:21] : Seat 6 : gadzooks64 has 4d 4h

I'm in the sb with a small pair. I'll limp and hope to hit a set

[Nov 17 10:53:23] : oninit folded.
[Nov 17 10:53:25] : Mr Botanski called $0.50
[Nov 17 10:53:27] : jfq called $0.50
[Nov 17 10:53:28] : rjp0901 called $0.50
[Nov 17 10:53:30] : My"A"game folded.
[Nov 17 10:53:31] : karbu called $0.50
[Nov 17 10:53:33] : gadzooks64 called $0.25
[Nov 17 10:53:38] : PickerJohn checked.
[Nov 17 10:53:39] : Dealing flop.
[Nov 17 10:53:39] : Board cards [Tc Td 4s]

Wow, not quite gin but still very nice. I'm in horrible position. I'm hoping to check raise. I'm sure I'll hear from anyboy with a T.

[Nov 17 10:53:44] : gadzooks64 checked.
[Nov 17 10:53:45] : PickerJohn checked.
[Nov 17 10:53:48] : Mr Botanski checked.
[Nov 17 10:53:51] : jfq checked.
[Nov 17 10:53:55] : rjp0901 checked.
[Nov 17 10:53:56] : karbu checked.
[Nov 17 10:53:57] : Dealing turn.

Crap. Well doesn't look like there's a T out there.

[Nov 17 10:53:57] : Board cards [Tc Td 4s 3s]

Time to bet this hand.

[Nov 17 10:54:01] : gadzooks64 bet $1
[Nov 17 10:54:05] : PickerJohn folded.
[Nov 17 10:54:07] : Mr Botanski called $1
[Nov 17 10:54:09] : jfq called $1 and raised $1

What? Is this a T finally deciding to bet?

[Nov 17 10:54:18] : rjp0901 folded.
[Nov 17 10:54:18] : karbu folded.
[Nov 17 10:54:21] : gadzooks64 called $1 and raised $1

Well, let's get some money into my pot!

[Nov 17 10:54:26] : Mr Botanski folded.
[Nov 17 10:54:28] : jfq called $1 and raised $1
[Nov 17 10:54:30] : gadzooks64 called $1
[Nov 17 10:54:30] : Dealing river.
[Nov 17 10:54:30] : Board cards [Tc Td 4s 3s 3d]

Oh great. Any T just now outdrew me. Sigh.

I would be better off to check call this but part of me still hopes I'm ahead.

[Nov 17 10:54:34] : gadzooks64 bet $1
[Nov 17 10:54:43] : jfq called $1 and raised $1
[Nov 17 10:54:46] : gadzooks64 called $1
[Nov 17 10:54:46] : Showdown!
[Nov 17 10:54:46] : Seat 6 : gadzooks64 has 4d 4h
[Nov 17 10:54:48] : Seat 2 : jfq has 3h 3c
[Nov 17 10:54:48] : jfq has Four of a kind: 3s
[Nov 17 10:54:49] : jfq wins $15.25 with Four of a kind: 3s
[Nov 17 10:54:58] : Hand is over.

Great.

I got one outtered. Just another reason to hate limit.

Had I bet that flop I would have probably taken down a small pot.

But I got greedy.

Then I got sucked out on.

Poker Stars Opens New Fish Market

Just in case there is someone reading this that doesn't follow the threads at fulltiltforum.com, here's a cut n' paste from a post I made there:

After two days of wading in the murky waters of Poker Stars new limit Deuce to Seven Triple Donk games (haven't tried the NL version yet,) allow me to assure you, friends, that fishing season has officially started and the fish are biting hard.

I strongly suggest you memorize the top ten 2-7 TD hands...

#1 - 7 5 4 3 2
#2 - 7 6 4 3 2
#3 - 7 6 5 3 2
#4 - 7 6 5 4 2

#5 - 8 5 4 3 2
#6 - 8 6 4 3 2
#7 - 8 6 5 3 2
#8 - 8 6 5 4 2
#9 - 8 6 5 4 3
#10 - 8 7 4 3 2

...and then do a little nut peddlin'.

I can almost guarantee that in the first orbit you will see someone a) play an Ace like it's low, or b) call or even raise all the way to the river with a straight or a flush.

Here's the strategy. It's complex, but I know you folks can handle it:

1. Only play starting hands with draws of two cards or less.

2. If you get 2345x to start, MUCK THE FIVE and draw two!

3. Only play draws of fewer cards then there are remaining draws (i.e., fold if you don't improve).

4. You may call ONE bet and take one card on the last draw if you are drawing to a top four hand.

5. Jam the effing pot when you are pat.
   

6. Rinse, repeat.

Of course, if you want to you can certainly get fancier than that, but why bother?

- Z.

---

PS: Please do not sit at MY table - go find your own aquarium to put your line in. TYVM.

Slutwriters...

It is our intention that once this little blog gets off the ground we will have some excellent poker content. And well, If any of you know Zooks and I... let's just say we decided it would be a good thing if we had some help!

So over the next few weeks we will be inviting a few of our favorite online poker players to contribute to this blog, and bring along with them some excellent content. If you're interested in being a contributor, let us know!

But first, meet our newest member, the player at the top of the Pokerslut Tour Leaderboard

Zerbet

Unintended Consequences

Inaugural Post
Can I Find Something To Say?
Some Haiku May Help!

Somehow Zerbet Leads
The Inaugural 'slut Tour
The Luck Will Soon End!

Phishingirl Holds Hope
She Wins And I Finish Fourth
But Eighteen Must Play!

Sixteen Measly Points
Like Praying Aces Will Hold
Tension Will Be Great!

But What Of Gadzooks?
A Double Leap Frog is Hard
Stud Hi/Lo, Who Knows!

If I Win The Day
The Thing Most Clearly Proven:
Blind Pigs Find Truffles!

Thank You Pokersluts
Your Invite To Write Gheigh Blogs
Appreciated!

- Z.

tom, dick and donkey...

I played the $10 DS NLHE MTT on Full Tilt night before last. It was a rare night when I wasn't exhausted so I thought I'd give it a try. I was seated at a fun table, a few friendly chatters giving each other a hard time, but no nasty stuff so it was refreshing.

Of course it wasn't before long that I had to chime in, cause well, I can't let other people get all the attention.

tom2585: evil monkey you ever won any money online before?
Evil Munkey: yeah twice
tom2585: how long you been playing poker?
Evil Munkey: i won 800 about 3 weeks ago
Evil Munkey: but it is almost gone now

this is when I decide to look him up on sharkscope.com and the pokerdb.com- impress them with my mad skillz

Evil Munkey: is this leading to you burning me?
tom2585: no you already gave me all the info i needed within the first 5 hands of this tourney
khanwoman: his total winnings since Jan 05 on ftp is $695 in mtts
khanwoman: $575 of that being on 9/27/06
Evil Munkey: i won 120 more hand for hand that same night
tom2585: who are you his bookey?
khanwoman: it's the crystal ball
Evil Munkey: kinda creepy khanwoman
khanwoman: indeed
khanwoman: looks like you suck at sngs tho, havent played many
tom2585: sngs?
Evil Munkey: sngs?
tom2585: lol
khanwoman: sit n gos
tom2585: this isnt a sng
Evil Munkey: oh those suck

silly donkeys

Evil Munkey: i play those at 2 am when there are no other tournys
tom2585: lol sng are gauranteed money lol
tom2585: if you know how to play

OH Reaaaaaaally tom? Let's see...

Evil Munkey: gets late and i go all in on somthing stupid
tom2585: exactly and i bank of your kind of playing
khanwoman: tom youve played 73 sngs and youre - $109
Evil Munkey: i have only played like 5 sit and go's
khanwoman: 7 evil
Evil Munkey: creepy
tom2585: that actually sounds right
Evil Munkey: wow how long has it been since my last poop

So, I decide to clue them in, mainly cause I like my stats on sharkscope.com... PHEAR THE KHAN!

khanwoman: i know it is sharkscope.com
khanwoman: says youre a fish tom
tom2585: lol
tom2585: good
tom2585: im an unorthadox player so thats prob right
Evil Munkey: me too

Yeah that's it!! Nail.on.head.

tom2585: but khanwoman it doesnt put alcohol into those calc
tom2585: and bad beats
Evil Munkey: true
khanwoman: those shouldnt matter
khanwoman: im drinking now
khanwoman: want one?

I was gonna ask him for ID first, but he never responded. Long break before this...

khanwoman: did you go look at your stats tom?
tom2585: oh yeah
khanwoman: like the lil fishbowl?
tom2585: i do

If you've never been on sharkscope this is what a player search looks like...

tom2585: i played a few times after the bars for a while there
tom2585: just recently decided to stop
tom2585: thats where the recent peak is from
tom2585: keep an eye on it
khanwoman: good for u
tom2585: i will watch yours as well
khanwoman: good

You do that tom.

tom2585: hey khanwoman bet you i will make it to $250 profitablilty first lol
khanwoman: mk
khanwoman: ill take that bet... $10?
tom2585: yes
khanwoman: u know thats only for sngs right?
tom2585: yeah
khanwoman: k
khanwoman: lets do it
tom2585: goodluck
khanwoman: u2 youll need it
tom2585: i know lol
tom2585: i am way down

I know tom... I know. So regardless whether or not I ever see that money (or win the bet, I guess anythings possible) I enjoyed placing the bet anyhow!

A couple hands later my AQ was beat by AT for all my chips... c'est la vie.

We are ALL WINNERS!

Hardly.

I was a "winner" in this hand and ended up with less chips than I started with.

I raise PF, SB pushes, BB pushes, I call all in.

Razz Freeroll

Nuff said.

This one guy was playing just about every hand. He had a huge stack and pretty much wouldn't fold.

Full Tilt Poker Game #1187664073: $100 Freeroll (8124165), Table 199 - 800/1600 Ante 150 - Limit Razz - 0:24:09 ET - 2006/11/03
Seat 1: D-Klubs (22,236)
Seat 2: WOLFE420 (4,449)
Seat 3: tommy_doggs (72,505)
Seat 4: zZneuronZz (11,012)
Seat 5: deadly_void (18,904)
Seat 6: stunned (5,168)
Seat 7: stretch11 (27,965)
Seat 8: gadzooks64 (9,350)
D-Klubs antes 150
WOLFE420 antes 150
tommy_doggs antes 150
zZneuronZz antes 150
deadly_void antes 150
stunned antes 150
stretch11 antes 150
gadzooks64 antes 150
*** 3RD STREET ***
Dealt to D-Klubs [2d]
Dealt to WOLFE420 [6s]
Dealt to tommy_doggs [5c]
Dealt to zZneuronZz [As]
Dealt to deadly_void [8d]
Dealt to stunned [7c]
Dealt to stretch11 [Jd]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [3c 5h] [6d]
stretch11 is high with [Jd]
stretch11 brings in for 250
gadzooks64 completes it to 800
D-Klubs folds
WOLFE420 folds
tommy_doggs raises to 1,600 He'd been raising with crap.
zZneuronZz folds
deadly_void folds
stunned folds
stretch11 folds
gadzooks64 calls 800
*** 4TH STREET ***
Dealt to tommy_doggs [5c] []
Dealt to gadzooks64 [3c 5h 6d] [4h]
tommy_doggs bets 800
gadzooks64 calls 800
*** 5TH STREET ***
Dealt to tommy_doggs [5c ] [7h]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [3c 5h 6d 4h] [Ac]
gadzooks64 checks I wanted him to think I'd paired my A.
tommy_doggs bets 1,600
gadzooks64 raises to 3,200
tommy_doggs raises to 4,800
gadzooks64 raises to 6,400
tommy_doggs calls 1,600
*** 6TH STREET ***
Dealt to tommy_doggs [5c 7h] [Jc]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [3c 5h 6d 4h Ac] [Ah]
tommy_doggs checks
gadzooks64 bets 400, and is all in
tommy_doggs calls 400
gadzooks64 shows [3c 5h 6d 4h Ac Ah]
tommy_doggs shows [3s Qc 5c 7h Jc] OMGWTF?!
*** 7TH STREET ***
Dealt to tommy_doggs [3s Qc 5c 7h Jc] [5d]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [3c 5h 6d 4h Ac Ah] [Js]
gadzooks64 shows [3c 5h 6d 4h Ac Ah Js] (6,5,4,3,A)
tommy_doggs shows [3s Qc 5c 7h Jc 5d] (J,7,5,4,3)
gadzooks64 wins the pot (19,850) with 6,5,4,3,A
The limits are now 1,000/2,000 with an ante of 150
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 19,850 | Rake 0
Seat 1: D-Klubs folded on 3rd St.
Seat 2: WOLFE420 folded on 3rd St.
Seat 3: tommy_doggs showed [3s Qc 5c 7h Jc 5d] and lost with J,7,5,4,3
Seat 4: zZneuronZz folded on 3rd St.
Seat 5: deadly_void folded on 3rd St.
Seat 6: stunned folded on 3rd St.
Seat 7: stretch11 folded on 3rd St.
Seat 8: gadzooks64 showed [3c 5h 6d 4h Ac Ah Js] and won (19,850) with 6,5,4,3,A

But he got me with this hand:

Full Tilt Poker Game #1187743100: $100 Freeroll (8124165), Table 199 - 1200/2400 Ante 200 - Limit Razz - 0:40:15 ET - 2006/11/03
Seat 1: D-Klubs (27,986)
Seat 2: LittleO (4,262)
Seat 3: tommy_doggs (78,454)
Seat 5: deadly_void (28,003)
Seat 6: TroutFish (33,806)
Seat 7: stretch11 (19,515)
Seat 8: gadzooks64 (14,100)
D-Klubs antes 200
LittleO antes 200
tommy_doggs antes 200
deadly_void antes 200
TroutFish antes 200
stretch11 antes 200
gadzooks64 antes 200
*** 3RD STREET ***
Dealt to D-Klubs [9s]
Dealt to LittleO [8c]
Dealt to tommy_doggs [Kd]
Dealt to deadly_void [2d]
Dealt to TroutFish [4d]
Dealt to stretch11 [Qh]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [7c 5s] [2s]
tommy_doggs is high with [Kd]
tommy_doggs brings in for 400
deadly_void folds
TroutFish folds
stretch11 folds
gadzooks64 completes it to 1,200
D-Klubs folds
LittleO folds
tommy_doggs calls 800 He calls with a K door!
*** 4TH STREET ***
Dealt to tommy_doggs [Kd] [8s]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [7c 5s 2s] [7s] Crap, but I can't help but think I'm still ahead
gadzooks64 bets 1,200
tommy_doggs calls 1,200
*** 5TH STREET ***
Dealt to tommy_doggs [Kd 8s] [4h]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [7c 5s 2s 7s] [9h] Oh no, I see my demise coming
gadzooks64 bets 2,400
tommy_doggs calls 2,400
*** 6TH STREET ***
Dealt to tommy_doggs [Kd 8s 4h] [2c]
Dealt to gadzooks64 [7c 5s 2s 7s 9h] [3c]
gadzooks64 bets 2,400
tommy_doggs raises to 4,800
gadzooks64 calls 2,400
*** 7TH STREET ***
Dealt to gadzooks64 [7c 5s 2s 7s 9h 3c] [Qs] Can you say "brick"
gadzooks64 checks
tommy_doggs bets 2,400
gadzooks64 calls 2,400
*** SHOW DOWN ***
tommy_doggs shows [6s 6c Kd 8s 4h 2c Ad] (8,6,4,2,A)
gadzooks64 mucks
tommy_doggs wins the pot (25,400) with 8,6,4,2,A
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 25,400 | Rake 0
Seat 1: D-Klubs folded on 3rd St.
Seat 2: LittleO folded on 3rd St.
Seat 3: tommy_doggs showed [6s 6c Kd 8s 4h 2c Ad] and won (25,400) with 8,6,4,2,A
Seat 5: deadly_void folded on 3rd St.
Seat 6: TroutFish folded on 3rd St.
Seat 7: stretch11 folded on 3rd St.
Seat 8: gadzooks64 mucked [Qs 7c 2s 7s 9h 3c 5s] - 9,7,5,3,2

I had never seen a hand played this badly

Full Tilt Poker Game #1181548509: $1 + $0.25 Sit & Go (8119239), Table 7 - 20/40 - No Limit Hold'em - 20:12:59 ET - 2006/11/01
Seat 1: ISELLMONY (2,977)
Seat 2: KThasaSET (1,770)
Seat 3: paintguy3255 (2,790)
Seat 4: khanwoman (2,895)
Seat 6: TapatioRed (3,015)
Seat 7: Kuato (4,903)
Seat 8: pokrpro2b (2,985)
Seat 9: lucky111348 (2,575)
lucky111348 posts the small blind of 20
ISELLMONY posts the big blind of 40
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to khanwoman [4s As]
KThasaSET raises to 80 <-- min raise mistake #1
paintguy3255 folds
khanwoman has 15 seconds left to act
khanwoman calls 80
TapatioRed folds
Kuato folds
pokrpro2b raises to 380
lucky111348 folds
ISELLMONY folds
KThasaSET raises to 680<-- re raise mistake #2
khanwoman folds
pokrpro2b has 15 seconds left to act
pokrpro2b calls 300
*** FLOP *** [Qs 7s 6c]
KThasaSET bets 40<-- WTF?? You raise, get re raised, the re raise yourself and MIN BET the flop?? #3
pokrpro2b raises to 400
KThasaSET raises to 760<--#4 im so confused i have nothing left to say.
pokrpro2b calls 360
*** TURN *** [Qs 7s 6c] [Qd]
KThasaSET bets 40<-- eh??? #5
pokrpro2b calls 40
*** RIVER *** [Qs 7s 6c Qd] [Kc]
KThasaSET bets 40<-- and again!! almost his entire stack is in the pot.. and what did he have you ask?! #6
pokrpro2b calls 40
*** SHOW DOWN ***
KThasaSET shows [Js Jd] (two pair, Queens and Jacks) #7 idiots like this should never get these kinds of cards.
pokrpro2b shows [Ks Ah] (two pair, Kings and Queens)
pokrpro2b wins the pot (3,180) with two pair, Kings and Queens

test

testing 123