Wednesday, February 06, 2008

the perfect man...

Would surprise me and take me to see this...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

effin degenerates...

Khan: hows u?
Tokn: goot, a tid tired
Khan: ya
Khan: im rly sick
Khan: sucks
Tokn: eww bird flu
Khan: yup
Khan: fuckin turkeys
Tokn: im in a last longer bet whoever lives longest surviving bird flu
Tokn: u want in? its $5
Tokn: survivor take all
Khan: ill do it for $10
Tokn: done
Khan: holler

Pokerslut Tour Season VIII BEGINS!!

You know you've always wanted to play. You look at the leaderboard every week, wishing you were at the top.

Well, now is your chance. It is time to step up and quit being a pussy and be a...



Roccopalooza Day 2

Despite waking up at 1:30 to let T stumble into the room I was unable to snooze in late as planned. I guess that's what happens when you hit that certain age where your body just refuses to NOT wake up.

I strolled over to the registration/breakfast area and grabbed some eats and headed back to the room. OMGWTF my ears are FROZEN. Turns out the temperature was -1° with a windchill of -14°. D'oh. I made a pot of coffee and fired up the laptop.

T slowly gained consciousness. I called the Poker Party Room to see what the status of the mystery guest was only to be informed that we would hear from him when he arrived.

After slurping down a pot of decaf while T made her high octane we get the call. The mystery guest was on his way to our room with Rocco! We were stumped. He wasn't anybody we'd seen before. I made a stab with a guess of Entegee and he was impressed when I nailed it! Wooooooot! Not bad for somebody I'd hardly heard of.

You think Huck and Entegee have some history?

We decided it was time to get some poker going and headed to the Poker room where there was some sign of life. Knighty showed up just in time for "Shuffle up and Deal!". Rocco drew the "Jesus Seat" left of Huck. If Huck raised you knew Rocco was calling. And he did. And he did... and he did. Only once did a hand of Rocco's hold up though. He managed to get it all in with an OESD that hit on the river. NH Rocco!

Huck was getting his game on again when he called REV's allin with 45o. I'm sure REV was not happy when he saw this flop and the turn sealed his fate.

I was definitely not PERKY this morning, nobody was. Maybe this will explain why:


We all start getting hungry for lunch and WTF?! Pizza!?!?!? You must be kidding me! But no, we ordered pizza knowing we were going out to a famous Chicago pizzaria for dinner. WTF were we thinking?

Pizza: the official meal of Roccopalooza.


After a brief nap and shower we meet before dinner to show off our new "EFF ROCCO" tshirts. They were a hit.

Eff Rocco!

We even wore them out to dinner!

It was back to the Poker Party Room for more, yeah, you guessed it, poker. This time we had a table of LO8 and one of S8. I played a little O8 - not my favorite game - then cashed out to join Rocco on the couch. We had the tv going but not much of interest was on until we stumbled on to an episode of the WSOP Tunica Circuit Event that Daniel Negreanu won.

No, I wasn't sleeping just resting.

I called it a night as soon as that was over. I have no knowledge of what went on after I went to bed. None. Don't even ask. I know nothing. Nothing, I say.

Roccopalooza Day 1

The drive up to Chicago was far more pleasant than I thought it would be. Props to T for the TomTom she gave me for Xmas. I definitely heart my TomTom!

I picked DTM up on the way and he proceeded to lob me softballs that I hit outta the park of course. He asked why I was so mean and I replied, "You make it too easy, duh!"

Thankfully, Huck had already checked into the Poker Party Palace and told the nice lady at the desk to let us have a key since my room wasn't ready yet. Dan and I hauled the two tables and 16 chairs, chips, cards and Poker Party Paraphernalia up two flights of stairs tyvm.

We then head out the official liquor store of Roccopalooza: Famous Liquors. I called T and took her order as we filled a basket with goodies. We head back with our haul and unpack as Huck, Rocco and Knighty arrive. They immediately head out to... wait for it, wait for it... the official liquor store of Roccopalooza: Famous Liquors.

Alrighty then. Now that the fridge is stocked it's time to play some POKER!

The five of us start a .10/.25 NLHE cash game. T was the next to arrive (if I remember correctly) then Asian finally found his way to the hotel after something like 5 phone calls. Hard to believe that boy only lives 20 minutes away!

Huck started off donking it up like the Huck we know and love. He had already rebought once maybe even twice when this hand came up. I took a free flop 3 ways with Huck and Dan with Q7o. The flop AQX. Huck fires out A DOLLAH and I call knowing he's full of it. I don't remember if Dan called. Huck fires a couple more DOLLAHS on the turn when a blank hits and I say "I'm all in". He goes into the tank and says he had a part of that and eventually folds his Q face up and then I flash him mine. I had his kicker by one pip. This was the start of a glorious evening.

Side note: what is it about playing live cash that makes you think that calling a bet with a lonely little $1 chip is the thing to do on a board like that when, if I were playing online, I would have insta-folded that hand? $1 seems like so much more money when you are throwing it around on Full Tilt. We ended up with over $400 on this table. Do you ever see that on a .10/.25 table on Full Tilt? Ok, let me qualify that: any table that's NOT the Forum Table?

MTPockets, eriver, Sly round out the cast of characters when I hit my biggest pot. Eriver raised to $1 utg, Huck calls, I call with TT, and then I get up to look at T's cards cause she's off somewhere. MTPockets is between T and I and he reraises to $4 nanoseconds after I say "Oh, T's calling (the $1)". I then said, "Ok, now she's gonna have to decide for herself." T had 99 and opted to call the $4 as did eriver, Huck and I. The flop came down AQT. Woooooot! I hit bottom set and I'm hoping somebody has AQ and doesn't suck out on me. Eriver led for $10 and with $42+ behind I shoved (I bought in for $20 and had chipped up partly when I hit top two v Asians bluff shove!).

All in? Orly?

MT goes into the tank for a few and decides to call. The shocker was when eriver called as well. Eriver was on a heart draw and MT had AK. He later said it was a donkey call and I have to agree because he was waaaaay behind even just AQ at that point. My TT holds and I take down a HUGE pot.

The cash games breaks up and we decide to play a 6-handed PLO tournament. This is my first time ever playing PLO live. It took a while for us to figure out what a pot bet and raise were but I think we finally got it.

Did I mention that we started drinking as soon as we had booze?

Man I can't believe I left THAT part out.

Early on I had a wheel wrap draw that hit on the river and took some chips off of MT. He wasn't too happy with me but I did have outs. I was surprised at how fast people went out. I used the same structure I use for my home game and it's pretty slow. No need to donk it up. But I guess that's what happens when you give people 4 cards!

We had the final table around level 3 or 4 (20 minute levels) and the next 2 went out pretty fast. The bubble was upon us. Sly was the SB to my BB and he limped in. I popped it with a nicely suited Ace hand and he called. The flop came down A34 and Sly leads into me. Now, I'd been trying to represent a big hand and I did have an A so I re-popped him essentially putting him all in. Sly went into the tank and I really didn't want to a call here. Eventually he did call with A4 for two pair. Shit! After the turn I was drawing dead to a 7, not a good place to be but OMGWTF! the river was a 7 sending Sly home on the booble as my French ami Compton would say. Sorry Sly!

ITM Bitches!

This did nothing to improve my image with MTPockets; he was still whining about that wheel hand. MT takes T out and we end up headups. We push the same few chips back and forth for a while when we get to a hand we both want to get it all in with. He flopped top and bottom and I flopped middle set on a T64 board. My set of 6s holds up and I'm the Winnah! Woooooot!

As soon as T got knocked out I heard the words "strip club" and then the room was practically empty. I was like, um WTF!?!?!? did you bitches leave me here to go to a strip club!?!?!

So, it's 11:30 and I BUZZED! SRSLY BUZZED! I decided to take the rest of my stuff to my room. Once I got there I wasn't in the mood for any more drinking or poker and I crashed. The phone rings at 1:30 and a voice says T is trashed, let her in the door at the same time I'm opening the door. She falls the two steps in the door to her sofa bed and crashes without a word. I don't know what made me do it but I fixed up her bed before I crashed. Good thing, too.

I'm still pissed about the strip club. Srsly.

Stay tuned for Day 2!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

poker paraphernalia...

We all has it. I even read a pretty funny blog entry about it (via zooks) the other day. It reminded me of a little side trip I made with my sister and her husband on Sunday.

For those of you who don't know, my family plays poker a lot. Pretty much every time we are all together, which is at least once a week, we throw down cards. There isn't usually money involved, we play for pride and bragging rights. (altho on special occasions we've been known to throw our dollaz into the pool too).

My sister and her husband have been talking about getting one of those fancy dancy poker dining room tables. You know the one's, that look like a beautiful table until you flip it over and its a casino worthy poker table. If you don't know the one's, I have provided a picture off my handy dandy phone camera that I am so fond of.

While this is all fine and good, it is not the point of my post. The point of my post is the picture you will find below. It is a wall mounting that was for sale at the store where we were shopping for new dining room tables. And this my friends, is priceless.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

AA Goes Down

Not in a good way, either.

Back to back hands my AA gets run over.

Needless to say I hate poker right now about as much as poker hates me right now.

sluts n tours n whatnot...

I'm telling you, it's hard, time consuming work, being a slut. At least that's my excuse for not posting in like 6 months!

But I did manage to make it out to Zooks last weekend for some douchebaggery and bowling.

Saturday night Zooks had her homegame. For those of you who have never been (which is most of you), Zooks has the BESTEST home games. She has nice tables, nice cards, nice chips, good structure, keeps it organized, and she even tends to stay sober and be a good host.

Your friendly neighborhood Pokersluts
Zooks and Khan

I mean what else can you ask for!! Oh wait, I know... maybe that she doesn't rig the turney so she ALWAYS WINS!!

Another thing you may not know, since you've never been to Zooks home game is that she makes you wear GOD DAMNED NAME TAGS. I guess it's not so bad because you do end up always knowing a persons name, but you see, (SW) when you're as kewl as I am, you always get a "special" name tag. This game I was KW Bitches, which is fine when I'm around a bunch of effers that know me by KDub, but it drew a lot of questions from others. My favorite was from Mary when she said,

Mary: "So, what's your name?"

Me: "I'm Teresa"

Mary: "OK, cause I was just gonna call you Bitch, but I thought it might be a bad first impression"

Me: "It's OK, I answer to that too"

I liked her right away!!!

And for all the awesome new people I had the pleasure of meeting that evening, I have two things for you:

1. The story about Bitches

2. 88 is called ladies night because... WHAT GIRL DOESN'T LIKE TO GET 8 TWICE?!?

Zooks gives a really good breakdown of the game here. It's always a better story when you won, so go read most of the details there.

Personally, I remember rivering a 3 to beat a pair of 5's that should have folded to my all in anyway (ya I'm talking about you Jeff), having my AK cracked by A7 (ya I'm talking about you Gordo), building my stack back up and then going el busto on a bluff (again getting called by a hand that should have folded- and by this time I can't remember who did this... was it Tim?).
No offense to the callers, obviously, but I'm just sayin :)

Oh, and somehow I did end up with a name tag that said "Teresa" at some point... I put it to good use.

Anyhoo, we played some cash after the turney and I won a pretty big pot putting me up quite a bit, and managed to spew it back (which I'm sure Jeff was thrilled about) over the next few hours.

But, at the end of the night we were invited to a game at Mary and Gordo's the next day! The sluts were down, sfobv, but the sluts also tow 4 kids in line and we needed a sitter. Mr. Zooks pulled through for us and didn't even charge! HOLLA!

We used the tomtom to get us to their house on time for the game, and they had a pretty kewl set up! One day I want a finished basement with a stocked bar, poker table, and 3 TVs... hell, they had places to sit AND a bathroom! I was in heaven.

My stack was up n down the entire turney, mostly what I remember is Shane's hair, Toby having a horrible run of luck, Tucker's iPhone and getting down to three way action with Gordo and Tucker.

I busted Tucker when he limped on my BB and I flopped two pair, lucky me.

Then Gordo and I played HU, we went back in forth for 10-15 mins and I was getting bored. I double checked the payout and it was only a $15 difference between 1st and 2nd, so my 78s looked goooooooood and I pushed in. Gordo called me with his Ace but I drew out. I think we played a few more hands, and I hit again and won the turney.

Earlier that day Zooks took me bowling for the first time!! I've been to visit her many times and we had never made it bowling. It was a great time (even the kids had fun) and zooks is an awesome bowler!! I might have to do a bowling class in school and try to show her up :) yayaya I know, GLWT!!

Last but definitely not least...


You've had two weeks off, so bring your game!


Monday, December 17, 2007

PS VII LHE Results

Yep, it's that time again.

Time to check out this week's leaderboard.