Saturday, June 30, 2007

Your Place for the Best in Live Poker!

Or not.

(This is Part One of a guest post. Not by Zerbet though.)

The stars aligned on Friday when The Dear And Patient Wife advised that she was dragging inviting The Kid with her to see Grease at The Muny that night.

To coin a phrase, show tunes went off in my head. As might well be expected, the recent Vegaspalooza trip left me with a jones for live poker, so the opportunity for "a trip to the boat" as they say here in Missouri - there is no land-based gaming here - couldn't have come at a better time.

I had it in mind to try to find a tournament with a reasonable buy-in and structure to play, but after checking a couple of places I found that there aren't any tourneys around here after about 2 PM or so on Fridays - I guess the don't want to take their tables and dealers away from the high cash game play, or something...

Anyway, a while back a St. Louis-area blogger (to whom I'd link if I could just remember who it was...) mentioned that his favorite room to play in St. Louis was in the President Casino. As I recall he was particularly complimentary of the dealers and he liked that the room was separated from those damn slots.

The President floats on the Mississippi very near the Arch in downtown StL, which is near where I work... and yet I'd never been there. I didn't know it even HAD a poker room for a long time, and since the river front is pretty seedy looking overall, even when I found out about the room I'd supposed it, too, was probably small and "less than attractive."

I decided to check it out - if it turned out to be a dump, I could always head out to Harrah's (which is much newer and very nice) or the AmeriStar, (another place I haven't visited yet.)

Given that this is Missouri, I knew that the first thing I'd have to do when I got there was to get a player's card. I hopped into a line of 20 or so people waiting to get one, and almost immediately found myself explaining to a nice lady in line who was visiting from out of town WHY we are REQUIRED to get a card to enter the casino.

While these cards DO serve the "usual" purpose (awarding comps like free valet parking for various levels of play) in Missouri they are MANDATORY because it is against the law to lose more than $500 over two hours of gambling!

Obviously the casinos have to track your loses relative to the clock, and the cards are used to a) validate your age, etc., when you get one, and then b) track your chip purchases & slot play to make sure you don't break the law.

I was pretty shocked to discover that The President actually charges you $2 to issue the card, too. No one else charges, at least that I know of. I don't know how they've managed to get that past the Gaming Commission, but ya gotta give 'em props for finding a way to shift the cost burden to the consumer... the bastids.

So, little black card in hand and about a half hour after getting there, I finally actually enter the casino. While the entry area outside is quite stylish and well lit, once you get to the actual boat (christened The Admiral - yes, it's a real boat and not just a modern-day raft like most of the rest use) the appearances take a serious turn for the worse. Frankly, the place is pretty much a dive.

I wandered around for about five minutes trying to find a way to go down to a different deck (I knew the poker room was on Deck A) but there were NO signs of any kind that I could see after walking the boat from stem to stern.

I finally had to ask someone and they pointed toward a doorway near the central bar and food court (does four tables and a half-door counter on the side of the bar qualify as a "food court"?)

There was a small stand-up sign with the claim that is the title of this post just inside the doorway at the top of the stairs, so it initially seemed that the directions I got were good... then I went down to the bottom of the stairs and around the corner as guided by the velvet ropes and saw... a large empty hallway with rows of out-of-service slot machines lined up back-to-front-to-back in storage.

I was obviously in the wrong place. I reversed my path and began to climb back up the same stairs (anticipating the weird looks from the patrons at the slots around the doors at the top) when I heard a faint sound that my senses, so finely-tuned from a full week in Vegas, instantly recognized as the sound of chips being riffled, far away.

End Part One

just a reminder...

Thursday, June 28, 2007

For Mac...

Because he actually reads this blog... so hey, I'll give you your very own post.

To make a long argument short (because sersly, I could take up the whole first page of this blog with the suckout and comments after) I'm gonna stick with the after-argument Mac and I had last night.

To complete (the bring in) or not to complete (the bring in), that is the question.

I'm talking about a poker game called Stud 8 or Better, but I think the concept applies to Stud AND Razz for that matter. And I'm not talking about just completing, but completing the BRING IN.

For starters, I'll start with a quote from the FTP Forums (this is a whole thread on the subject btw) by Perry Friedman, who is considered an accomplished Stud player:
And here I am! My tip was written about stud hi, but most of the same reasons apply to hi/lo and razz. Other than in rare tourney situations, I will never bring in for a completion in stud hi/lo.

Here is a link to my tip:


Well, here is the actual link to the tip. But here is the jist of what it says:
Furthermore, bringing in for a completion limits your betting options. If you bring in for the minimum and someone else completes the bet, you can raise back for a full bet, whereas your opponent can only complete for a partial bet. You can also decide to slow play your hand if someone completes. Completing the bet exposes you to being raised back a full bet. By always bringing in for the minimum, you do not give away the strength of your hand and leave your options open on third street.

So ya, I think completing your bring in is stupid, not aggressive (and that goes DOUBLE in HU play). Aggressive Stud is betting your hands when you know your opponent is weak, fighting over a bring in when its 10 chips is stupid.

EDIT: I found a bit more info on the subject from Ray Zee (courtesy of Dekker, ty Dekker)

"It doesn't happen often, but occasionally the bring-in...will start the action with raise. This always means that he has a playable hand, and it usually means that he has a fairly good hand but not a great hand."

"When the bring-in raises, he typically holds three small flush cards, three small straight cards, or a high pair in the hole. Of these three possibilities, his most likely hand is a high pair in the hole, and he is trying to limit the field. The exception is when this player is steaming, which can be determined based on how he is conducting himself and how he has fared in the last few pots."

"In this situation, you should play very tightly. Players likely to be contesting the bring-in will have quality hands. Also, you will not have the added equity of the bring-in money, since this player usually will not be folding because of additional raises."

[Ray Zee: High-Low Split-Poker for Advanced Players, page 31]

My argument isn't that completing can never be done, but it does typically advertise your hand. And as Perry stated, even with a strong hand, completing your BI for half the bet isn't the smartest play.

another edit!!

Mason Malmuth says this on the 2+2 forums (courtesy of postmodernboy):

I disagree. I virtually never make this play. Against you, I would know that you do not have a pair when you are the bring-in and only call. Against someone who never makes this play, you can never be sure.

In addition, by making this play in a small ante game I believe that the mistake is even worse. When someone tries to steal a large ante pot and they run into a hand in the bring-in they are not always in awful shape because of the size of the pot. In a small ante game that won't necessarily be the case.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

am i dreaming?????

For a few years now I've heard stories... goot stories... fairytales of poker in my town.

Not just poker, but poker with the pros.

There is a live poker club in my town called The KhanIsHawt Club (name changed for obv reasons) that is owned by the Sexton's. My town is home to greats such as Mike Sexton, Chip Reese, and Ron Rose. Old skewl mofo's.

Among these stories were rumors of how hard it was to get into this club. You had to be with a member to get in, and well, altho I am one hawt babe, I had never met a member.

Until today.

The club opened a second location, and my brother knows one of the dealers. Last night he went to play and became a member.

The awesome part of this whole story is that the club spreads every game you can think of, and at a low stakes players budget.

And if you think I'm NOT about to run over the 4/8 o8 game, you gots another thing comin.

Saturday, June 23, 2007


Last night I sat at a 1/2 Limit HE table for a couple of hours. After being up over $20, I ended up dropping $60 on runner runner suckouts.

I was pretty pissy. $60 is A LOT to me.

So, I decided to go play some 1/2 stud8 instead.

I've not played much s8 on FTP in the past, and when I did it was smaller limits for short amounts of time.

I sat at the table with $20, and over the next 30-45 minutes proceeded to scoop over half the pots I won, and leave the table with over $150, AND cleared a bonus.

I doubled my bankroll.

I'm not trying to brag, I wanted to share with all my friends who play s8. I wonder if the s8 is this juicy all of the time, and if there is less variance in the game. I doubt it, but I'm gonna find out.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Vegaspalooza Pics

I think I finally managed to organize the pictures into something resembling what actually happened and when it happened. Sorta.

Check them out here.

Check out Khanwoman's pic here.

Monday, June 18, 2007

sluts everywhere!!

So, I've met a lot of interesting people at the poker tables... but this one takes the cake.

While in Vegas, the last day I was there, we were playing at Ceasar's. We got a O8 table going. I haven't gotten to this part of my trip report yet, so here's an early taste.

Snarf says to me "Hey, come here I have to show you something" so I get up and walk over (we are on either side of the dealer) and he points over to the other side of the room. When I look up I see this HUGE PLUMBER BUTT staring me in the face.

Poor guy, we all had a great laugh about it. A dealer waiting for his turn to deal at our table called the floor supervisor over. She laughed as well and said someone had to tell him but it wasn't gonna be her!!

Then of course, being the effers that we are, someone (i forget who) offered her money to drop a chip down his ass. hahahaha.

Anyhow, the story comes full circle when Zooks and I decide to play a $1 HORSE sng before bed, a lil slut nightcap if you will when we meet an interesting person (you gotta read this):

khanwoman: ellen

ellenwheels: what's that?

gadzooks64: our blog

khanwoman: we have a poker tour, and a blog

ellenwheels: i'll check it out

ellenwheels: a tour?

ellenwheels: where do you tour?

khanwoman: ya every sunday at 9

gadzooks64: yeah a tournament tour

khanwoman: here

ellenwheels: online?

gadzooks64: sundays at 9 eastern

khanwoman: on ftp

khanwoman: ya

gadzooks64: 5$ buyins

eeduub: how come no one want me to play?

khanwoman: we do want u to play

gadzooks64: you're broke

gadzooks64: lol

ellenwheels: can't play. work until 6 on sunday

gadzooks64: sorry meant to complete

ellenwheels: pacific time

khanwoman: ahh

ellenwheels: usually 6. but it changes sometimes

khanwoman: nh

eeduub: I just got $50

eeduub: give me time

Dealer: ellenwheels shows [Kd Ks 2c Kc Qc 2d]

Dealer: gadzooks64 shows [Tc Td Jh 8c 9c 4h]

khanwoman: oooh a check raise

Dealer: ellenwheels shows a full house, Kings full of Twos

Dealer: gadzooks64 shows a straight, Jack high

Dealer: ellenwheels wins the pot (3,136) with a full house,

Kings full of Twos

khanwoman: dayum nh

gadzooks64: dangit nh

ellenwheels: i needed it

ellenwheels: where are you?

khanwoman: im in ohio

gadzooks64: IL

ellenwheels: never been to either

ellenwheels: any live poker there?

gadzooks64: in chicago but not where I am

khanwoman: ya sometimes, we have riverboat casinos too

ellenwheels: never been on a riverboat. like to

ellenwheels: i'm looking at your site

gadzooks64: we have fun with it

ellenwheels: lotta people on your site?

khanwoman: actually we hang at a couple of forums

gadzooks64 (Observer): we have the leaderboards posted


gadzooks64 (Observer): on two diff forums

ellenwheels: that one of you at caesars?

ellenwheels: that's where i work

gadzooks64 (Observer): we get about 18-24 people that play

the tour

khanwoman: really?

khanwoman: in LV?

ellenwheels: yup

ellenwheels: yup

khanwoman: woooot

gadzooks64 (Observer): we were there this past week

khanwoman: ya we were just there

gadzooks64 (Observer): played o8

ellenwheels: ha

gadzooks64 (Observer): 3/6 limit

ellenwheels: floor supervisor

ellenwheels: poker room

gadzooks64 (Observer): one of the players played the daily 330

ellenwheels: funny

khanwoman: were you there when you had to go tell a guy his

butt crack was showing??

gadzooks64 (Observer): Caesar's is beutiful

gadzooks64 (Observer): hahaha

ellenwheels: yes

khanwoman: that was us

khanwoman: who told you

gadzooks64 (Observer): yeah the guy said he'd pay you to

throw it in htere

ellenwheels: in the library?

ellenwheels: funny

ellenwheels: wanted me to put a chip in it?

ellenwheels: wow

khanwoman: YES

khanwoman: hahahaha

khanwoman: omg what a small world

gadzooks64 (Observer): that's awesome!

ellenwheels: i'll get myself fired some time

khanwoman: i gotta save this chat

gadzooks64 (Observer): I took pictures of every naked statue I


khanwoman: wow im in shock

gadzooks64 (Observer): very pretty place

ellenwheels: really small world

ellenwheels (Observer): gogame

khanwoman (Observer): gg ellen

ellenwheels (Observer): good

khanwoman (Observer): nice to meet you again!!

gadzooks64 (Observer): we'll have to look for you

ellenwheels (Observer): you too!

gadzooks64 (Observer): fun playng with you

ellenwheels (Observer): see you around

Sunday, June 17, 2007

i shoulda known...

After winning every race in TWO token sngs back to back to win my $75 token

I was fucked

So I enter my 100 seat gtd satellite, double up my chips in the first hour when this happens...

Dealt to khanwoman [Kc Kd]
pettyfiend calls 80
bigfella one has 15 seconds left to act
bigfella one folds
calibuds86 folds
BRIKZ folds
Just1ce raises to 360
gianthit folds
nextphase folds
butter09 folds
khanwoman raises to 2,840, and is all in
pettyfiend calls 1,646, and is all in
Just1ce calls 1,566, and is all in
khanwoman shows [Kc Kd]
pettyfiend shows [Ks Kh]
Just1ce shows [Qc Qh]
Uncalled bet of 914 returned to khanwoman
*** FLOP *** [7h 3h Jc]
*** TURN *** [7h 3h Jc] [Jh]
*** RIVER *** [7h 3h Jc Jh] [Ah]
khanwoman shows two pair, Kings and Jacks
Just1ce shows a flush, Ace high
Just1ce wins the side pot (400) with a flush, Ace high
pettyfiend shows a flush, Ace high
pettyfiend wins the main pot (5,218) with a flush, Ace high
pettyfiend stands up

I sho do love me some four flushes

I push w 66 and get no callers, blind down some more when I get, you guessed it, KK in the bb again

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to khanwoman [Kh Ks]
Zengy folds
notmeitsu folds
Gator93 folds
trancegemini folds
pier85 folds
ginola1999 folds
COREY627 folds
StupidGambler raises to 360
khanwoman raises to 874, and is all in
StupidGambler calls 514
khanwoman shows [Kh Ks]
StupidGambler shows [8d 7d]
*** FLOP *** [4h 9c 2d]
*** TURN *** [4h 9c 2d] [8s]
*** RIVER *** [4h 9c 2d 8s] [8h]
khanwoman shows two pair, Kings and Eights
StupidGambler shows three of a kind, Eights
StupidGambler wins the pot (1,748) with three of a kind, Eights
khanwoman stands up

StupidGambler: thank god
khanwoman (Observer): oh stfu

and a "god" thanker to boot.

nh gg ighn

UPDATE: I did go home, and I took a nap

I thought on a whim I'd check to see if he made his token (the second guy) and he was still in the turney!! 3 away from the bubble with 776 chips left, bb was 800

I know, I couldn't resist either

khanwoman (Observer): dude, next in line has 5k, stalling wont
help much
StupidGambler: thinking thx
khanwoman (Observer): np, im here to watch you bubble
StupidGambler: i no
StupidGambler: u still mad
khanwoman (Observer): im a woman, im always mad

his bb rolled around

khanwoman (Observer): wooooooooooot
Dealer: StupidGambler shows [7s 2d]
Dealer: ArtieRufio31 shows [Kd 9h]
Dealer: ArtieRufio31 wins the side pot (448)
Dealer: StupidGambler shows a pair of Twos
Dealer: ArtieRufio31 shows King Queen high
Dealer: StupidGambler wins the main pot (1,328) with a pair of

ArtieRufio31: Fourn?
StupidGambler: 72
khanwoman (Observer): he doubled w the hammer, sacrelidge
muckersilly: lol
ArtieRufio31: no call for half a blind?
NedRierson: we all should have played that hand
khanwoman (Observer): uh ya

Dealer: StupidGambler has 15 seconds left to act
Dealer: leavenworth shows [Ac As]
Dealer: StupidGambler shows [8c 8h]
Dealer: leavenworth shows a pair of Aces
Dealer: StupidGambler shows a pair of Eights
Dealer: leavenworth wins the pot (4,406) with a pair of Aces
Dealer: Hand #2693196452
khanwoman (Observer): awwwwwwwwwww
muckersilly: nh
StupidGambler (Observer): happy now
khanwoman (Observer): yes i am ty

and truly, I am happy now.
That's right, don't get on my bad side folks.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Planet Ho Tournament

Zerb and I are seated at the same table. There's a woman I recall from the Binion's Ladies event.

The first hand I play is AJ in late position, I raise and the Lady calls from BB, she checks and I take it down with continuation bet on a Q high board.

I pick up 9Ts in late position in a limped pot, flop flush draw, turn a gutshot, river flush. I bet every street and the one player with me the whole way insta-folds on the river.

I look down at A5s in SB and complete, flop top two, bet out get raised, tell him I'll bet him all in and he folds.

Get AA twice and get pushed on both times and thankfully they held up. First time was a couple hands after Snuffy had it; he raised up to 18k so I min raise to 16k and get pushed on by QQ. That really helped me out as I was starting to get short. One guy had his AA outrun by 66 and wasn't very happy about it.

Final table, I'm one of the chipleaders and I push with A6 into the short stacks from early position get called by A5 flop is 23x turn 5 river 6. Ship it.

When we get down to 6 Snuffy suggests that 4th-6th pool and split evenly and 1st-3rd do the same as those players were pretty close in chipcount. The 4th place guy wanted nothing to do with it. Next hand he lost a boatload of chips to another SS player but he managed to get them back and finished 4th when I put him all in with A7 and he called - A on flop and he's done.

We got down to three: Handsome Swiss Guy (120k), Snuff (110k) and ME (80k)! The HSG proposes a deal where we hold out $600 to pay 2nd $200 more than 3rd and 1st $200 more than 2nd. Sounded like a great deal to me - 3rd place actually benefited the most from that arrangement.

First hand 3 ways HSG raises from the button and Snuffy folds. I debate it for a long time and decide to push with A7. He calls and shows AK, doh! NH, GG, IGHN with $487 tyvm. After the fact Snuffy tells me he folded A5 and he normally would have never done that.

Who knew a Slut could cash in tournament at Planet Ho?!?!

Flamingo Tournament

As was par for the course for me in Vegas, I showed up right on time for the 7:00 pm $60 buy-in tournament at the Flamingo. Turns out that wasn't early enough to get immediate seating.

DranDead and I were put on the alternate list.

Unfortunately for the other 5 Effers and Ante Uppers, they all DREW THE SAME DAMN TABLE. How bad would that suck?

I made it on a table right after the first level. Folded the first few hands and then picked up KK in middle position. I raise to 4x and get 2 callers. Flop JTx. I bet 900 into a 1200 and get raised to 2000 which would put me all in. I call and he shows....... drum roll please, KTh. He put me all in with MIDDLE FARKING PAIR AND A RUNNER RUNNER FLUSH DRAW. I doubled up early which is always nice.

I get some strong hands and raise but get no action after having shown the KK hand.

Pretty soon we are down to 2 tables and I'm not getting much. I honestly don't recall playing another hand until the final table.

A maniac came to our table that had run amok at the Effer's table. He'd been pushing all in and sucking out in rare fashion. He started to pull the same crap at my table but he was caught with his pants down a few times. He managed to spew to JUST ABOUT EVERYBODY ON MY TABLE BUT ME! Damnit. He donked off big to this one pretty good and aggressive woman who rode that chip lead to the final table.

I wasn't in too bad of shape when we hit the final table but I got screwed twice when the blinds double on my big blind. Aggro Bitch raised my BB when I had 92o and I had to fold, sigh.

A very tight player was UTG and raised it up. I was on her left and looked at AJc. I wasn't sure was she had but it was getting to desperation time for me so I pushed. Oh shit, she had AKs. Flop was AJx. She was totally pissed. I apologized like a fool.

One guy, who later admitted he didn't think he would be the one to benefit from his offer, suggested we take money off the top few places and pay the Bubble Boy his entry back. Turns out he ended being Bubble Boy.

So here we are In The Money when I get hit with the newly doubled BB, Aggro Bitch raises me again and I have trash so I fold. I post the SB and I had maybe a couple hundred chips behind when I pick up K2d. I figure I can't be in all that bad of shape versus a random hand so I push with it and of course the damn BB wakes up with AQ. NH, GG, IGHN.

Zerbet chewed me out because the BB and the UTG were both short stacks. He thought I should have folded there and hoped that one of them would go out before me. I'm sure he has a point. When you don't have the chip counts on the "screen" in front on you it is sometimes hard to think ahead like that. I might have been able to go up one more spot or maybe even two had I done that.

$100 - $60 buy-in = $35!


Leaving Las Vegas

Parting is such sweet sorrow. I'm ready to get back home to my regular routine of beating my kids and ignoring my husband but I will certainly missed the fast paced life that was Vegaspalooza.


Karma is paying me back for bitching about freezing my ass off in every poker room in town by letting me swelter on the tarmac for 50 mins while my plane waits to take off.

Not all Karma is good.

Mixed Games at IP

After the HORSE tournament came to a close we planned to meet for some Razz. We were originally going to to Binion's since they had been so nice to us on Saturday night but instead convinced the IP to spread it for us.

What started as Razz turned into Dealer's Choice. And I really mean DEALER'S choice. Tommy sat down and proceeded to boss us around and we loved it. Razz, O8, Badugi, 2-7 Triple Draw, 5 Card Draw, Stud 8, Pineapple, Crazy Pineapple Hi/Lo, you name it we played.

I'm sure we will never again play some of those games at a live cash table in a casino. Tommy was good to us. We had a great time with the dealers at IP even though they were short staffed and none too familiar with some of the games.

My favorite hand happened in Razz. I'm sure it will never be one of Columbo's OMM hands so I can tell you. Columbo had a 3 up and I had an A up. He completed and I called. He was dealt a 5 and I was dealt a 6 pairing one of my down cards. He checked to me which I found highly suspicious and I checked behind. I was convinced he paired that 5. I think he hit a good card on 5th as did I. It's been so long that I don't recall if either of us bet that street but we did end up going to 6th. Columbo caught a 9 and I caught 7 giving me two pair to what I was sure was one pair for him. I had the better board showing so I bet into him hoping he was worried about his 9 being beat by a made 7. He hemmed and hawed and starting counting outs on his fingers. I had to tell him that is wasn't looking good for his hand even though I knew I was sitting on two pair. Eventually he folded and I showed him my buried 6 and 7. He laughed and said that he, too, had two pair.

Pros bets killed me. I don't know how but I managed to get stuck with Red for all my flop props and came out behind both times. StB took my chips the first time and Mr2jt did the second time around - at least he didn't let me sleep my props which I tried to do many times.

At one point a bunch of Effers decided to pool $5 each to put on Red or Black at the Roullette table. We, oddly enough, opted for Black as a group (only one red vote among us). I'm sure it had NOTHING whatsoever to do with my losing prop streak on Red - NOTHING what so ever. Of course, you know where I'm going with this. Yep, it was Red. At least Mr. Red (not Zerbet) wasn't the least bit bitter.

Ceasar's, Binion's Ladies Tournament


Today’s big event is the Ladies NLHE Event at Binion’s, which all the ladies are playing (all = myself, zooks, drandead and ELM).

Zooks and I woke up unnaturally early AGAIN and although I was awake, I did not want to get out of bed. So instead I went over to zooks’ bed and laid there semi-passed out while she uploaded Vegas Pics, wrote up some posts, and chatted on AIM with Snarf and MacAnthony. SNARF? WTF is snarf doing online? Oh he’s just playing AIPS TWO HOURS before he has to leave for vegas. What a degenerate. I finally drag myself out of bed, shower, and we decide to first head over to the RIO to do some pro gazing.

As usual I start with my phone calls to all the effers to see who wants to come along. When I call ELM I find out that am is playing in the Flamingo morning turney and is doing quite well. So, I wish him luck and tell them to contact us when they are done. Just for the record (because I don’t know when in my story I will get this in), our wonderful friend ELM gives killer back rubs. And when I say killer, I mean KILLER. She can put you into a trans in 0.5 seconds, and she does this little trick she calls “the piano”. I offered am a buy out on the marriage, but he didn’t go for it.

I was grumpy, tired, a bit hungover, and HUNGRY this morning – you will pry be able to tell when I get pissy about a few things.

So, we (zooks, dran, mr2jt, zerbet and myself) start the walk over to ceasars to catch the RIO Shuttle. I was in a bit of a hurry because I was STARVING, little did I know that zooks had a nekkid statue fettish, and it would take awhile to get thru ceasars. But two hours later we finally make it into the RIO and we stop and get some food.

That’s when I get the call, “AM WON! HE WON THE TOURNAMENT!” wooooot wtg am! Then I get am on the phone and he says he chopped 4 ways for about $450 (I think).

We check out the gift store and try to get into the Amazon Room to get some pics of Virge playing, but none of us can remember his table number. Altho, it didn’t really matter, because they weren’t allowing spectators at that time. We did manage to sneak in with DraNDead when she registered for the Ladies event. So there I stand outside of the registration line with Zerb, gazing upon a full Amazon room. It really is a sight, poker at an orgasmic level.

This is when I see zerb start to pull out

his camera. I tell him not to do it! But nooo ooo ooo will the old man listen to me?! He just has to try focusing his camera on a light, he’s not even taking pics. From being in the Amazon Room before, I know, that when there are no spectators allowed, and you sneak in, you pry shouldn’t use a camera. Somehow the guards think “oh that’s a spectator, lets go eat him” and sure enough, our local female Gestapo was on her way over. gg zerb.

As I wandered around I did find a way into the Amazon Room, but I couldn’t find Virge. After piddling thru the WSOP gift shop, we finally headed over to Binion’s to register for the ladies turney.

We get registered and walked around buying some things from (she makes great ladies poker stuff) had about 4 glasses of water at the bar, tried to get out of my funk etc etc and then it was time to get seated. This is when we found out that Ladies Poker is the new softball. I have never seen so many Lesbians in one room in my life. There were whole “crews” with “spotters” railing and keeping an eye on everyone in the crew.

We met up with ELM and am, figured out where everyone was seated so we could keep an eye, and it turned out that DraNDead was not only at my table, but directly on my right. I’ve played with Dran enough to know, this wasn’t a good thing for me.

And sure enough, the first two hours I watched Dran run my table over and triple up her chips. I was just treading water, staying even. Our table was a pretty good table. I was afraid being a ladies turney it might be tight/passive, but I didn’t feel like it was. There were a couple of weak players at the table, and they were gone in no time, allowing for more weak players to enter. Our table pretty much ate them up.

Enter – young poser girl

That’s when a very beautiful young lady gets sat at our table. Well, she might have been beautiful, if I could have seen her face. She was very tall and thin, but had on a hat, sunglasses, ipod, sat with her legs up to her chest and came to our table with a massive stack. She immediately tried to play every pot and push some of the better players at our table around (including me) but ended up doubling the two short stacks, and bleeding chips off to the rest of us. By the time our table broke, she was on the short stack and most of us had doubled up. I was actually dealt AA twice, when in a pot with her that she had raised pf. Both times I pushed and she folded. Both times I thought she would call.

This player had a ton of potential, but she really needed to learn how to pick her spots.

On this trip I had a few discussions with some people about the luck factor in tournaments. The more I play, and watch others win, I realize you have to get lucky to win. Yes, you have to be skilled enough in the other instances, but you have to win races, and suck out occasionally. I had that moment happen when I was short and looked down at AJs and moved in. When a tight player behind me moved in, I knew I was in deep shit. Sure enough she flipped up AKo and I was praying for spades. Instead, the poker gods brought me a J on the flop and J on the turn, and no diamond on the river to give her a flush. WHEW.

When I left this table I had doubled my chips, but I was still pretty short, just a lil over 10 bb with the way they were increasing. As in most turneys I found myself winning a pot, only to have the blinds increase and leave me at 10x, again. When my original table broke (table 30) I was moved to table 29, which meant I was the next table to break. Sure enough, 5 mins later, our table broke, and I was moved to table 28! 3 mins later, this table broke and when the turney director came over I said “If you throw me table 27, I may have to hurt you” card comes “table 27 thanks guy” and he just keeps saying “its all completely random ma’am”. Finally, after table 27 I was moved to table 22, and if it weren’t for this move I wouldn’t be telling a story about cashing in this tournament.

I was on the shortest of short stacks here, I believe I had about 5-6k in chips but the blinds were 800/1600. There were two big stacks at the table, but the rest of the table had similar stack sizes to mine. As I sit and watch, waiting for my pushing hand, I start to realize this is the MOST PASSIVE TABLE I HAVE EVER SAT AT IN MY LIFE. I watched a woman with LESS CHIPS THAN ME fold AK, and she woulda made a boat. Then I listened to her reasoning about why she folded it (someone was all in ahead of her) I was astounded. So, that’s when I started pushing. I felt I had the read I needed, even the two big stacks weren’t calling allins, and the blinds+antes were over 3k. Every time I pushed with a good hand (med-high pair or AK/AQ) I would show, so that I could keep pushing with lesser hands. Sure enough, I left that table with almost 20k in chips, and I wasn’t called once.

We had a break, and I went over to check on the effers and these guys are playing razz with no ante! They had convinced Binions to spread a one/two razz game with no ante and they only rake pots over $5!! What a HOOT! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Binion’s is the greatest casino to ever be. If you go to Vegas with out playing there, you’ve completely missed out.

Anyhow, dinner break over, I get my well wishes from my razz friends and head back to the tournament. We are reseated with 3 tables left, 30 players, 25 pay. The first 10 only get their money back, and the TD comes around to offer that $500 be taken off of 1st place so that the 5 that aren’t itm get their money back. I was cool with it, I figured it would get the ss’s pushing if they knew they got their buy in back.

We get down to two tables in no time and right away I have a few big hands. The first is when I am in the bb and utg +2 limped in, it folds around to me, and I look down at KJs. I decided to check my option here. I had only been at this table for about an orbit and I didn’t really want to raise w KJs out of position. I figured it would be best to hit my hand and trap the limper.

So here comes a rainbow K high flop. That was pretty much what I was hoping for, so I check, hoping to go for the check raise, when the limper moves all in. I go into the tank a bit here, I look at her and I say “wow, I was going to check raise you, did you really limp with Aces?” She sits back in her chair and folds her arms and I just stare her down. She looks nervous to me, and not in the good way, I can see her chest heaving a bit, shes trying to breathe slow, consciously. So, my read was that she was weak, I wasn’t sure if she had a mid pair or an Ace, but I had her beat.

Now I had to convince myself to go with my read. I wasn’t a big stack, or even middle of the road, I counted down my chips and thought she had me covered by maybe a chip and said “alright, lets rock n roll… I call” the girl to my left says “ya baby!” and I flip over my top pair and she flips over AQc. I had to sweat a few outs, especially when the turn brought another CLUB! But, damn I was hawt, what a great call.

A few hands later I felted another chick when she over played her KQ vs my AK. It was funny because she had been at my first table, and I had noticed she was playing KQ like it was going out of style. And I had decided then I was going to trap her playing the second best hand.

We had been reseated, and I didn’t like my spot. I was seated with super LAG asian lady on my left. I knew I couldn’t play position with her on my left and I wasn’t happy.

Now for the mother of all hands.

I was in the bb, and LAG lady limps utg, two seats after bets a standard raise, player two seats later goes all in, for about twice the original raise, it comes around to the sb and she moves all in as well, she has less than the first all ins chips. And wouldn’t you know, I look down at TWO RED LADIES. Oh boy, any day online, I muck this so fast, and I was about to do it here. I mean when you play a mtt online and you have a bet, raise and two all ins, QQ is no good. But before I muck I sit back and look at my table. Could I really muck QQ here?

When I look around I see that the two all ins were so short, they pry had less than 6 bb’s, this means their pushing range isn’t small, its pretty wide. The original raiser was starin me down with this scared look on her face, and I knew she was going to fold, and if there was this much action, I doubt limper LAG lady was limping with aces.

So now I look at my stack, I’m short too, not super short, but I have about 10x, and I’m here to win, I already have my buy in back. So I say “Screw it, I’m all in”. The table of ladies gets all excited! The limper and raiser fold, and I find myself against TT and AJ… my ladies hold and I felt two people and win a HUGE POT worth over 60k.

Ya that’s hawt.

Oh and I can’t leave out the split deals goin down. It was so ridiculous and I was actually embarrassed. At TWENTY people, TWO TABLES, the short stacks start cryin for a chop, a FUCKING CHOP AT 20 PEOPLE. And not even a fair chop, these whiney ass bitches wanted EVERYONE, even the chip leaders to chop an even 1200 each. Cause they wanted to be “nice” and be sure everyone got to play in the ladies wsop event the next day.

It was so pathetic, every few hands, or when someone else busted, another chop offer from the shorties, not ONCE did they offer to compensate the chip leaders. I refused the deal every time, and I wasn’t a big stack. But I do have pride. Then some bull dike says “you know poker is about getting value, not just winning” WTF does that mean? So I say to her “you mean it’s valuable for someone with 20 times your chip stack to win the same amount of money as you have?” And the people at my table acted like I was the only one refusing the deal, there were about 12 of us left by the time they cut the shit out, and the big stack was at the other table and she was having NONE of it.

SO EMBARASSING and there was another turney going on in the same room, I can only imagine what these people were thinking.

Well as expected, the LAG asian woman was the end of me. The blinds were huge, I think around 2500/5k so after the blinds passing me a few times, I was back to an average stack at the table. Of course I get ATs in the sb, LAG in the bb, and it folds to me, I do a standard raise, she calls, I lose. Couple orbits later, I get KQd otb, I do another standard raise, she calls, I lose.

I pushed in a few times with no callers, and finally again with 88. LAG lady calls w AKo and hits a T on the river for broadway. I make the call with AKo too, but just the fact that it was HER and it was a GUTSHOT ON THE RIVER hurt a bit. I went out in 11th I think, but it could have been worse (zerb said 15th or something), I wasn’t really paying attention since it wasn’t first.

Thank goodness we were at Binion's and they agreed to spread a 1/2 razz game with no ante and only raked a pot when it was over $5. Dekker(right) and Mr and Mrs Snarf(left) had gotten in as well, so plenty of fun to be had. I sat down for a bit before we decided it was time to give up for the night.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

part deux...

Just as I was typing up part deux of my vegas report, i received a blue screen of death on my laptop. I've had my systems admin working on it (aka joe) and it looks like my HD is fried.

Not only do I hate repeating myself, but I hate typing things twice... so I'll get to it as soon as I can.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

omg i forgot about VIRGE...

I just realized I left my first Virge sighting out of my previous story.

As I was sitting at my first 2/4 table (the one with the Paris Hilton guy) I look over to Zerb's table to see if anything is going on and I see (what I thought was) a couple walking toward my table. I coulda sworn the dude was checkin me out, but his companion was this tall, blonde drink of water, so I thought it was a bit strange being that I pry wasn't his type.

Yet here he came, closer and closer to the T, till he was almost right next to me. I looked up, and he puts his hand out and says "Hi, I'm Steven" I shake his hand thinking, mkay and he says "Virge"


He was much different than I had expected, very tall, clean cut and reserved. I dunno what I was expecting, but maybe that guy at the football game with his belly painted with Texas letters.

He made his rounds and said hello to all the effers, and shortly after had to leave to "get some sleep" with the tall drink of water saying he had been up all night.

Veni Vidi Vici…

I would like to precede the beginning of my saga with a disclaimer:

1. Despite my tendency to pretend I'm 19 years old, I spent my first day home with ice packs on my ankles, swollen hands, and slept approx 18 hours.

This is all I have time to type up for now, more to come later.

And that we did. I knew it was fate when the first casino I had to go to was one of the two I hadn’t seen the year before. I met zooks at the IP after getting off the plane. It only took me two hours to get from my plane to the hotel, note to self: take a frakin cab.

Anyhoo, we headed right over to Ceasar’s card room and WOW, what a place. Zerb and Mrs. Sly were sitting at 3/6 limit HE (Separate tables) and Sly was over with the big dogs at 4/8 HORSE. I had to get some food in me, so while I ran over to get the best chicken wrap evah and make a few phone calls, zooks sat down at yet another 3/6 limit HE table. When I came back I was seated at Zerb’s 3/6. I was a lil awestruck being in this room, it really is something else

I was surrounded by agro young hotheads, which I don’t mind having at my table, but one on my right and two directly on my left is a different story. Finally one doubled up and left and the other two busted. I wasn’t sad to see them go and after being down about $60 when they left, I left the table up about $40.

ChicagoMike (aka Schoon157) finally showed his purdy lil face and joined Sly over at the HORSE oh I mean TORSE table. That’s right, they changed the holdem to Triple Draw. I LOVE VEGAS.

About an hour before I took off from Ceasar’s, Mr2jt showed up and sat at our 3/6 table. Of course I took the opportunity to raise his blind every orbit, or so he says anyhow. When zooks and I decided to head back over to the IP to play there (closer to our room and we were rounding the corner on 24 hours awake) I had just ordered a red bull and vodka. Zooks says “get a to-go cup” and I said “its vegas baby! All cups are to go” and the guy next to me chimes in that yes, you can in fact take any container with alcohol you want anywhere you want in vegas. Zooks was impressed.

The IP was uneventful, we waited for the rest to join us, but turned out Zerb wasn’t going anywhere when he hit quad 8s and a high hand jackpot over at Ceasars. We were waiting for ELM and am to get in, their flight was arriving late that night. We finally saw the Sly’s go by, they stopped and gave us waves etc. Figuring out ELM and am weren’t coming down after their flight, we finally decided to call it a night, or a morning and headed back for what turned out to be a nap.

We awoke 4 hours later. I had no intention of not sleeping full nights in vegas, but little did we know it was about to be par for the course. But it worked out because ELM and am couldn’t sleep either, and we went and got some breakfast and chatted. I had met am before but was looking forward to meeting ELM and she was just as great as I has suspected. And just fyi, this is one of the cutest couples you will ever meet.

Today’s big game was the $250 HORSE over at Binion’s. Sly and ChicagoMike were ready to play it, and we were going down to rail, play side games, and check out Fremont St. As we waited by the front door at noon for everyone, we made about 4 trips to Starbucks, and I gave Pokerlusky a call at Sly’s request. I didn’t realize lusky was in town already, but I guess he had been there all week. I told him our plans for the day and to get his toosh down to Binions. This was when my one moment of taking charge in vegas happened. I got the hotel cabbie guy to get us cabs. WOOT. Responsibility is such a burden. As we stood there waiting, I looked over and said “OMG its Guy!” everyone just stood there “No, guys its LYNX” finally a response, and we laughed about how our timing etc and then decided that a few would stay back with lynx while the rest of us headed to binions.

After getting a cab driver that obv didn’t speak English OR drive downtown very often, we got the boys reg for HORSE and the Sly’s and I decided to get a bite to eat in the Binion’s Diner. Sly and I discussed Stud8 strategy, and general turney strategy over brunch. And I just wanna tell you, I love these two. The Sly’s are two people I am better off for meeting.

We walked around downtown a bit waiting for the lynx stay behinders to get there. When they did, I showed them how to get $10 free to play slots at the golden nugget, we considered playing a $65 mtt there at 3pm, but finally decided against it. While they played their free slot money, I went on a hunt for the place with the giant daiquiri drinks. Mrs. Sly obliged as we walked up and down Fremont street. I had thought it was Mermaids, which was where we started, but I didn’t go in and check and ended up walking the whole strip and going back there. After a few taste tests and all the effers showing up, I went for the strap on drink and zerb/zooks shared the pussy drink.

And this is when it started to get goot.

We went in Binions to check on the horse boys, both were still in, and I sat at a 2/4 limit table. I had a strap on drink afterall, I didn’t want to get too serious. After losing every hand I played, including having my Aces cracked by JTo, QQ beat by A2o, elm rivering an Ace to beat my top pair, and mrs sly flopping trips w 89o vs my 77, this big mouth to my left started getting philosophical about PARIS HILTON. YES, Paris Fraking Hilton, and he would NOT shut the eff up. Given that he was already getting on my effing nerves before, he had cracked my aces, and he was one of those annoying guys that had to talk during every hand, I looked at the dealer and said “get me a rack”. I mean if I’m gonna sit here losing money, I wanna have fun doing it damn it. So, I got on a list for another table, and ended up at Zerb’s 2/4 limit table.

I’m soooo glad I decided to come over to this table for many reasons:

A) Zerb was there

B) Hot guy to my right

C) Whole table was there to have a goot time, half were drunk (like me) so I might actually win a hand

And sure enough, we had a blast. The hot guy to my right had a couple of big rings on, so I asked what the one was. Turned out it was some hotty totty bowling ring and he was a retired pro of some sort. So, I told him about zooks who was sitting at another table. And then he showed me another ring and said if I knew what it was he would be impressed. Well, I did in fact know what it was (a free mason ring) and hawt guy wasn’t impressed like he said he would be (Bastid). Zooks ended up coming over to talk to Zerb and I and I got the bowling convo started, she invited him to play horse w us on Sunday but he never showed.

By this time I was about ½ way thru my strap on, and the guys were out of the HORSE so everyone was talking about heading back, getting food, and moving to another room etc. I remembered that pokerlusky had said he might come down to Binion’s and when I took a potty break I saw that I had missed a few calls from him, so I gave him a ring to let him know we were leaving, and he was on the Deuce headed our way.

It was an opportunity for me to finally put a dent in my massive daiquiri, so I wasn’t disappointed that we were waiting for Lusky.

By the time we got back to the IP, my strap on was empty, and I decided it was time to take pictures. Good ones, like of everyone getting their player cards at the IP, or of them on the escalator, or even the security guard....

While everyone ate, I thought it would be prudent to go sit at a bar and get another drink. To my delight, there were two hawties there to chat with. Turned out they were from the same town as my husband, and when I called my husband to inform him of my drunken stupor and my company, one dude took my phone and started talking to Joe. Yeah, Joe was thrilled. But I was impressed he took it so well. gg joe.

This is when it dawned on me that I was drunk enough to NOT be around people any longer. So I told zooks I was headed up to our room to lie down for a bit. I somehow ended up in the Sly’s room and passing out. WOOOT 48 hours in and my pass out gave me 7 hours of sleep. I needed it. When I awoke (2-3 hours later) I was alone, so I gave zooks a call and she said they were down at the MGM. So I freshened up a bit and headed down to the MGM on the monorail. Funny fact, a two way ticket on the monorail is $9, an all day pass is $8. gg monorail.

DraNDead had flown in and was at the MGM as well. So, since we were both on the waiting list, we got to sit and chat for about 2 hours before our names were called. At one point, a gal came over and started talking to Dran, and I had no idea who she was, it turned out to be Shermy! So we sat and chatted for a bit. We waited so long I went and took pics of some of the effers playin at the MGM to help time pass, and FINALLY had my name called, Theresea, is how they spelled and called it. Mkay.

Zooks was having a ball at her blogger table. I believe they were playing 3/6 horse. Im not sure what the others were playing but I was sat at a 2/4 limit, and Dran was sat at my table shortly after. This was a pretty fun table, and I think Dran and I were cracking them up a bit with our convo. I was telling dran about our escapades before she had gotten there, throwing in a “omg he was hawt” every now and then. Finally this young guy sitting next to me goes “aren’t you married?” and I said “sure I am, I even put one of the hawt guys on the phone with my hubby a few hours ago, he was thrilled”.

We finally headed back to the IP about 3am because that’s when the monorail closed, Dran and I got a bite to eat and finally hit the sack around 5am.

To be continued...

Still to come, my experience in the Binions ladies event, and me falling out of a cab.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Straddle me, baby!

Miami Don told me the bloggers would be hitting the MGM to play low stakes mixed games on Friday night. Weeeeeeeell, you know I'm up for that.

I get to the MGM at 10:00 and there was no HORSE table running. I asked about making an interest list and the room manager told me that it wouldn't make. I actually had to go back and make them start a list. I sat at a 3/6 limit table in the mean time and just kept an eye on the electronic board to see if anybody signed up.

Next thing I know [which in poker time is about 1.5 hours later] they are calling my name for the HORSE table and I hear Colombo and Falstaff's names called as well. I knew then that the bloggers had arrived. Woooooooot!

I couldn't play today's Blogger tournament because I will be playing the Binion's Ladies event at 4:00 so I figured I would donk around with them at a HORSE table. Not that anybody but maybe Columbo knows of me. That didn't seem to bother them much though - more dead money for them.

Falstaff bought in for $500 and made a nice tower of chips on the table. That should have been a clue that this wasn't going to be your momma's HORSE game. I didn't recognize the names of the few people that I asked but I found out who Columbo was and there's no way in hell anybody would NOT know Falstaff - that boy has big ... personality.

I pimped the FullTiltForum private HORSE tunry at the IP to them as well as the Pokerslut Tour. Maybe some will actually show up. I played a few pots and lost two with HUGE draws and one just cause I was gamboling. First thing you need to know is this: EVERY POT WAS STRADDLED! Yes, you heard me, straddled. Talk about having pot odds.

  1. It was folded around to me with KTh. Of course I 3 bet and get called by the straddle. Flop came Q high all diamonds. I bet out confident that it didn't hit him and he called. The turn was a 2. I check he checks. River was a Q. I looked at him and said you got there didn't you? LOL. I call his bet and he asks what do you have. "Shit, you?" He showed two black cards and a craptastic pair of 2s that took down the pot. Oh yeah, THAT was fun.

  2. I have Ah34h6 and limp in the straddled pot. Flop comes with two hearts and two non-counterfeiting low cards. One bet is called all around. The turn was a high card that helped no one. At this point I have the nut low draw and the nut flush draw. As some would say, "I have a brazillian outs." The river paired the 2. Sigh. A bet and a call to me. "I'm the only idiot in this hand without a fricking 2." I fold. I could have scooped that pot.

  3. Folded to me with ATh and here I go again, "I have to make it three." One caller. Flop KJhKh. Well what a fugly board but my opponent is villain from hand one so there's a better than good chance he didn't hit this flop. I bet he calls. The turn paired my T. I at least felt better about betting here. I figure he makes a move here if he's got a real hand but he just calls. I'm hoping for a heart but no o oo ooo. I think it was a 9. I bet, he asks if I'm full as he calls and I said, "EFF NO pair of tens," to his straight. I heard someone say something about a royal flush draw which I had neglected to realize; I have been totally content with just the nut flush.
Long story short, I played HORSE from 11:30 until 2:45 and was down half my buy-in which was considerably less than Falstaff's. It was totally worth it though. I thoroughly enjoyed the table chat and had a blast overall. I won a pot in LHE and a S8 hand but the rest of the time was spent folding really bad cards. I'm sure these guys thought I was uber weak-tight.

Early on the manager came over and asked us to give up some of our blue chips as the room was on the verge of running out and obviously we didn't need nearly as many as we had in play. He also ordered the dealers to not sell us blue chips. We had several very good dealers that changed every game change it seemed. He gave each one explicit instructions how to deal and when to change the game. I think it all went quite smoothly.

As hard as it may be to believe, we were actually given a language warning by the manager. Who knew we had such potty mouths? Well, besides my own.

I thought the table might break when Falstaff and another person left together but the seats filled rather quickly. There seemed to be a serious personality vacuum after Falstaff left and I think we all missed him for a moment - sorta like the call after a storm.

I really enjoyed talking to the two guys on my right. I was in the 10 seat so the dealer was between me and the guys on the other end.

The MGM was a really nice room. The screens with the wait lists were very nice and it didn't take long at all to get a seat. I was getting annoyed with the cocktail people. Not once, not twice, but 3 times I ordered water and had to re-order the next time one came back around. The restrooms near the poker room were very small and incredibly busy. Even though we sat two players out during the stud hands, there was still not enough time to get a bathroom break in sometimes.

All in all and great way to spend some time at the poker table. Today will be spent at the Rio trying to satellite into the WSOP Ladies event that runs tomorrow and then playing the Binion's Ladies event this afternoon. Wish the Pokersluts luck!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

One Slut Down...

That's right folks, one slut is on her way to vegas, and the other will be shortly.

And yes, I'm posting this at 7am, even tho I had one too many last night in hopes of it making me sleep like a good fishie.

What can I say, I was awoken by dreams of beating the two time Slut Tour winner in horse last night.


Stay tuned for pics and postage.

Two Time Wiener...

It takes someone "special" to win the Pokerslut Tour two season's straight. Someone who can battle the best at every game, choosing the proper time to play rags and win. No ordinary donkey could accomplish this with such flare. It takes ELSNARFGRANDE to win two season's of the Tour in a row.

WTG Snarf, you've been a great addition to the Slut Tour. *tear*

He keeps saying we need to rename the Tour to The Snarf Tour, but me thinks he needs to change his nick to ELSLUTGRANDE.

OMG I'm a fraking Genius.

You can bask in your leaderboardness here, but don't cry when you see that winning two seasons of the Tour didn't make you the overall leader. :)

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Pokerslut Tour Season IV Stud 8 Results

Well, we did it. We finished up Season IV. Congrats to all who played! We hope to see you for Season V, starting with NLHE DS on July 8th. We're taking a break for Vegaspaloooza! and summer vacations.

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